I stumbled across this facebook post from 7 months ago on facebook, but it is still relevant today.

Sometimes Monday mornings start with big plans to take on the week as a wife, mother and business owner. 👊 I’ve blocked out time to write my next book, I’m putting the finishing touches on an event for 250 women for my church on Saturday AND I’ve meal planned - ready to cook for my people so they don’t feel like I’m sacrificing them during this busy and awesome week. 🌟 

This week in our Come, Follow Me study (and in the previous weeks) Nephi has made mention of the "mysteries of God".

For some reason this phrase has been a throughline in my adult life.  I CRAVE to know the mysteries of God.  I pray to have them unfolded unto me.  I think that's one reason why I loved studying Spiritual Gifts in 2019, they had a sense of mystery and yet I knew God would enlighten me if I did the work. 

I know that everything I have is a gift from God. I also know that there are bigger ways I can use what I have for good. I want to be used.

Last year was a little rough. Last January at this time was one of my hardest. 

This memory came up in my Facebook feed and I felt like I should share. 

If you’re having a rough go, pause for a minute and think of all the things, even little ones that are going right. 

January 14th, 2019

The last 4+ weeks have been a little rough, okay A LOT rough.  But instead of sharing all the bad stuff, I'm going to share all the wonderful things that made it all bearable. (in no particular order)

1. Family time, especially my brother who flew in from Philly to hang out with us for the holidays

Many years back I was reading one of my favorite blogs (remember when we used to sit on computers and look at friends, family and strangers blogs?  This was before facebook...lol.)

Shawni, the blogger at 71toes.com, talked about a word of the year. And that year her word was focus.  It inspired me to not just create goals, but to have a one word "focus" that would help me be intentional about the kind of year I wanted to create overall.

I talk about some of my initial experiences in my book Make It Happen Blueprint

I talk about goal setting, words of the year and all kinds of other goal setting and personal development things all the time, but I don't often get to infuse how my spirituality and religion plays into it.  So I was thrilled when I got to merge two of my favorite subjects on this article.

https://www.ldspma.org/a-word-of-the-year/

I wrote this back in 2014, the day my first born turned 6.

My little boy turned 6 today. I didn't cry all day and you know what? I never even had to choke back tears. I was just happy for him that he was SO happy. I took two photos today on my phone, and neither had him in it. Not because I didn't want to capture it (we did take some on the family camera for scrapbook purposes, of course), but I was just in the moment with him and it was refreshing and amazing. I put my head on his pillow at the end of a fun filled day and we talked about his favorite things. We savored it.

Six years ago today, before I was ever on Facebook, I was sitting in a hospital room. I was a new mom and didn't know what to expect, but I certainly didn't expect my 10 lb 3 oz son to be in the NICU connected to 27 wires and tubes. I sat in my room feeling helpless and hormonal and I cried a lot that day, with an enveloping blanket of peace that flooded over me all at the same time. I'm sure glad we made it through that. I can't believe how much time has gone by, I just know I'm grateful to be his mom and watch him grow.

The first time I heard this story I was a tween.  Perhaps 12, but couldn't have been much older.  I remember reading this story or having someone tell it to me and the spirit touched me and I cried.  It was one of my first experiences like that.

I have often thought about this story and when I found it I had to share.

Sometimes you have good days. Sometimes Optimize Press goes away and you lose all your landing pages and sales pages.

Instead of drowning my sorrows in chocolate or Diet Dr. Pepper, I'm going to sit here and list all the good things in my life until the pit in my stomach goes away.

About 6 years ago I was "stuck" in Vegas because the roads were too bad north of Mesquite to get me home. I was beyond grateful for a friend who let us stay with her at a moments notice. I wrote this to remember my night.

To top off the night, my son with Reactive Airway Disease has a cough. The common cold for him means poor, labored breathing and the need for breathing treatments. At 10:00 PM in about 15 minutes time, his cough went from bad to worse and I panicked. His breathing was very poor and he was distressed, making it worse.

Sixteen and a half years ago my father, James passed away. He died of SARS in China when they had that huge outbreak. Today is his birthday. I mentioned this to a friend last week and it keeps running through my mind today. Death is like a hole. It's always there. It takes a little while to figure out how to get around the hole. Some people suggest filling it in. I don't. I don't want to forget them. I have to figure out how to go around the hole. Though it's always there, days like this also remind me of the people who walk around the hole with me. Who hold my hand, listen to stories, and let me acknowledge that it happened. I'm also reminded that God is always here holding my hand and providing suggestions on ways to go around the hole. One day my dad will be whole again and I'll be whole again and I'm grateful for that peace I feel on days like today. Happy Birthday, Dad! I'll watch a good show for you!

Some days are awesome. Other days push us to the brink and test our limits. And when God's really up to something, you can have both in the same day! I KNEW today would be one of those days and I prayed. A lot. There's a passage in the Book of Mormon that says "God will support, keep and preserve us." (Alma 44:4) I had this moment today where I wondered how I had kept from falling apart and I felt the words, "You were preserved." Some hard days I don't feel that. Today, it made me grateful. And it made me grateful for the hard days so I can appreciate the "preserved" days.

I've been thinking about the references to Heavenly Parents mentioned in conference this weekend.  It reminded me of this little piece I wrote back in 2011 as part of a book I was writing at the time called "Daughters of Light".  I never did anything with it, but I'm curious what your thoughts are after reading this analogy and the subsequent thoughts.

My friend posted this on Instagram and I can't believe how much it has crossed my mind over the last three weeks. The last couple of weeks have been a lot of growing up for my kids and I. This quote shifted me from the sobby mess of a mom that has to take tissue to the first day of school drop off, to the mom instead noticing how grown up they are and how they have changed and how they are becoming really great kids. I still miss them being little, but I'm acknowledging who they are growing up to be even more.

I am at a loss for words and an abundance of tears. A series of divine events had me seated next to two teens with prosthetic legs on my flight tonight. The boy next to me immediately started up a conversation. These "make it happen" kids are friendly, fun, and cute. We chatted for five minutes before I noticed. They told me their stories, that they both want to go into prosthetics when they grow up and that they were in Utah for a white water rafting trip with 16 other kids from all across the country. I did a very good job of holding back my tears for these sweet kids. They showed me their craft activities they did and this one particularly touched me. They ARE magic and so was the experience sitting next to them. God is good to me on delayed flights

Years ago during Christmas I spent time reading and pondering the gifts of the spirit. I enjoyed it but didn't have any overwhelming spiritual experiences. Tonight, I was listening to First Corinthians chapter 12 as I drove home from an event, some things caught me. I read the whole chapter again about gifts of the spirit and how we need all kinds of gifts and members who contribute to the whole "body" and was particularly pensive about the last verse: 31, But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet show I unto you a more excellent way. (New Testament, 1 Corinthians, Chapter 12)

This was originally written back in 2014, but today it was a great reminder of all the great men and women in my life.

It's Father's Day. I have lots of thoughts and emotions on Father's Day. I love my father James dearly. I never doubted his love for me. He taught me many things. He gave me a love for learning, of books. He told me I was beautiful without makeup and not to let the world tell me otherwise. He took four kids to church on Sunday as a single dad and I got to see from BOTH of my parents that we go to church even when it's hard. He took me to movies and gave me my love for the big screen. He taught me piano and instilled a love for classical music. I love reflecting on the way he would laugh at me lovingly when I tried to negotiate for things. He told me he laughed because I impressed him with the way I thought about things (as a parent I totally get that now). He taught me "To be good is to be weird. To be weird is to be good." And laid the groundwork for confidence and not allowing labels and others determine my worth. This is just the beginning.

The last few weeks I've experienced a handful of stressful life circumstances (enter dramatic music). Life changes, health changes, sick kids for 10 days, business changes, parenting challenges, taxes (which I'm happy to pay as a part of living in this great country...but sometimes the process is taxing). All the while I haven't had my normal coping mechanisms (baked goods, chocolate or soda). Ha!

I love to go to church. My weeks are better when I take 3 hours to worship with my neighbors and friends. I like learning lessons from the scriptures and from living prophets and I really don't like to miss. My kids know this, too. Last night my son prayed that I would be healthy enough to go to church.

I'm taking comfort in this promise today. I recently had to do something that doesn't make sense and even made me cry. But I'm trusting and believing in the future.